Ever since I was at university, I’ve wanted to point the camera towards myself, in a non narcissistic way, and delve a little deeper in to the art of self portraiture. I wrote my dissertation on female photographers who photograph themselves and their motivations to do so. Some being cathartic, others for showmanship and some who photographed their children as an extension of who they are. Now that I’m a mom, it’s the latter that strikes a chord with me, and as aware as I am that everyone loves their children, I resolutely cherish the fact that I can document so coherantly, the time I spend with mine.
Throughout the summer, when weddings are all too consuming, it becomes even more important to take time for personal endeavours and inspirations, and so with that in mind, I have set out to photograph Elsie and I on film, entirely through the power of self timers and a few well placed, long armed selfies. I still take digital photos of her on a daily basis, but this is to be different, this to me, will be ours. A rough and happy project that she already feels a part of.
I got my first film back today and I wanted to cry. I tried out some new black and white stock, I was ambitious with the settings, probably giving the little old camera I bought a bit too much credit. So many were dark, blurry, out of focus and not quite what I’d pictured that I couldn’t help but be disappointed. Then a friend pointed out that the feel of the images was so much more important than the focus. And they were right…I’d already forgotten why I was doing this and got too caught up in technicalities that are hard to control at the best of times, let alone with a toddler in tow.
So I’m going to share our first roll of film. Here we are, blurry, dark…and completely us. There will be more xx